The Alchemy of Choice

What does it mean to allow our horse to choose?  For me, choice is one of the foundational pillars of harmonious partnership between horses and humans, and it must be centered around trust and respect.  The idea is that if given the choice, my horses will choose to go with me.  This is the dance.  We will go together, but I, the rider, will be the captain.  We will create something together, but I, the human, will be the director.  In terms of balancing the dynamics of our partnership, I strive for; 49/horse, 51/me. 

It is a marvel that this dynamic is possible and it is owed to the horse’s intrinsic, collaborative mentality.  Horses want to work with us because they are hardwired to cooperate with others.  Moreover, horses are hierarchical by nature; they seek clear, intentional leadership because it offers them a path to their most prized commodities: safety, peace, and comfort.  Herd axiom means that horses are naturally drawn to connect and unite for these overarching objectives.  It’s how they have survived and evolved, as prey animals and in service to humans for thousands of years.  Horses are pre-programmed for partnership, but as their partners, we have to create the space for this to unfold, which is to say, a space where the horse is allowed the time and freedom to think, feel, and decide.  When we take on the responsibility of being in relationship with horses, we have to treat it as the privilege that it is and we must not take it lightly.  To quote Uncle Ben or Aunt Mae, depending on what spiderverse you hail from, “With great power comes great responsibility.”  

As prey animals, horses tend to react to situations or circumstances, quickly and emotionally; it’s how they stay alive.  In a life or death situation, they don’t have time to ponder miscellaneous options.  However, if you watch horses within a natural environment or even a domesticated one, once the threat is gone, after their initial reaction, they inevitably come back to check out and process what it was that was so darn scary. Once they have processed the situation, within moments, they go back to grazing.  This is how horses are always learning about their environment and circumstances.  The degrees and timing of this range as per each horse’s distinct personality and unique hierarchical position, but once they’ve reacted, they invariably circle back, to the original stimuli or threat, to investigate and to learn.  We’ve all seen our horses do it, out in the pasture or in their pens; they spook at some random who-knows-what, jump, snort, and run away. Then, they stop, turn around, and re approach to gather data. This is what curiosity looks like, whether you are human or horse and it is the common ground to begin from when we are communicating with each other.  For me, this is the fertile soil from which trust and rapport grow and it is best cultivated through offering choice to our horse.  

So, what does that look like and how is it done safely and responsibly?  For me, it happens on the ground first, then later, astride.  For example, when I go out to the pen to catch my horse, instead of marching straight up to them, halter in hand, agenda in place, I may walk to the other side of the pen, curiously meandering around with nowhere to go.  In this way, my body language is deferential, yet inquisitive. It invites the horse to join me, without coercion or force; it is my attempt at speaking in my horse’s native tongue, with his cultural customs.  I am just being, I am just there.  Horses find this all very intriguing because it is novel and entertaining; it isn’t every day that they see a two-legged predator attempting to speak horse! This is the space within which my horse will choose whether they want to engage with me and, either way, it invariably creates plenty of data to inform my next move.  If they don’t choose to join me, I will adjust my body language, my positioning, or my energy and try again.  This is the dance.  It’s working on a common project with someone who speaks a different language than me.  

Because body language is universal, it is the common ground we need.  Because horses are so attuned to body language, I have to be congruent; my horse always knows when I am faking it because to their keen eye, my body will always betray me.  And, therein lies a lot of joy.  If my body is aligned with my spirit, I can get creative.  The horse and I can play together, and as I alternate between movement and stillness, I ask questions with my body language, and wait patiently for his responses.  Giving the horse time to think is key; their neocortex, the part of their brain that makes decisions, is structured differently than humans. Sometimes, the process feels agonizingly long.  It reminds me of meditation, of which I am not very good at, and during which I often want to skip over all the stillness mumbo-jumbo and jump right into enlightenment!  My monkey-mind has a hard time quieting enough to allow me to become centered.  This is where allowing my horse the opportunity to choose and the time to think is as good for me as it is for him because when I am able to find my way back to that still, patient space, I become aligned, empowered, and open.  

When the horse is allowed to think, his frontal lobe is activated, and now he has associated me with this thinking process instead of in his more accessible, reactive brain where his fight, flight or freeze responses come from.  Neural pathways are being created in his brain that make this thinking process more reflexive, automatic, and scalable.  This is a very good thing; it is where lightness and feel are born and later, refined.  It is where telepathic levels of connection and transmutation between human and horse are possible, and it is this awesome potentiality for connection that draws those of us who love horses to them.  It is magic; it is the alchemy of choice.

- Victoria Williams