Faith, Grace, Trust & Try

I believe that if our horses trust us, they will try to do anything that we ask of them.  That try may look different depending on each horse - personality, natural talent, experience, training level, context, etc., but the basic principle is always true.  So, it behooves us to cultivate trust as much as we possibly can. What does that look like? I think this quote from Charles Feltman’s book, The Thin Book of Trust says it best, “trust is choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.”  Isn’t that what our horses do every time they choose to engage with us?  

Let’s break this down.  We’ve already talked about a horse’s self-preservation instinct, which is to say that we know that the most valuable things to horses are safety, comfort, and care.  Whenever a horse chooses to trust us, they are literally putting their most precious currency ( their freedom, protection, security, and well-being - mental and physical) in our hands. This is an act of grace that the horse bestows upon us humans.  In this regard, grace looks like try.  It’s a big deal, especially in light of the whole predator/prey instinct thing.  For me, it is one of the many wonders of horses. So, in my opinion, it is our responsibility to recognize and nurture all the moments of grace, ie. our horse’s try.  

So, the next question is: how do we cultivate trust? For me, with horses or people for that matter, it’s in the little things, the small moments, the tiny, everyday details.  Careful, empathetic attention to our daily routine with our horses is the best place to start, which does not require professional chops or experience, by the way. Being aware of horses’ perspectives and experiences whenever and however we are interacting with them is not only crucial to building trust, it is an ongoing, perpetual practice.  

It’s important to bring awareness and perspective to our tacking process.  Here are some places to start:

For me, bridling is a moment of truth and it is where I often see trust eroded between riders and horses.  We tend to get in a hurry: 

*Clanging the bit against whiskers, lips, and teeth.

*Insensitive handling of the face, eg. too much, tickling, resulting in sensory overload for the horse. 

*Browband or earpiece on the offside poking into the horse’s eye.

*Ears crinkled or smooshed or pulled through the crown of the bridle. 

*Forelock and mane twisted and bunched up around ears and under crown/browband.

*Bit adjusted too tight or too loose.

*Throat latch adjusted too tight or too loose. 

*Curb strap adjusted too tight or too loose, in the wrong spot.

*Bridle buckles sitting awkwardly on the horse’s face.

WE CAN DO BETTER.  This is one of the last things you will do before you swing a leg over your horse, so the way in which you bridle your horse will undoubtedly set the tone for the rest of your ride.  

Remember Spiderman: Aunt Mae said, “with great power comes great responsibility.”  It is an amazing privilege that our horse allows us to place a bit in their mouth and when they do so, they are putting a tremendous amount of trust in us; they are giving us a lot of power.  It is our responsibility not to take that for granted.  Of course, that means never jerking on the bit or being abusive with the reins, but it also means being mindful and reverent in the process of bitting and bridling.