What's your horses love language?

What’s your Horsemanship Love Language?

The Five Love Languages ideas comes from Gary Chapman's famous book

The book claims that we each have a primary love language.

I want to explore how that relates to our horsemanship. 

This story reveals mine.

I grew up idolizing the legend of the western horseman. I grew up hearing about a heritage of genuine wild west legend.  

Family reunions as a young kid feature memories of old men with pearl snaps, cowboy hats, skin tough as leather, and bright eyes.  

I missed out on learning about horses though. Maybe for the best in retrospect. It was a hard, hard culture.

When I had the good fortune to meet the love of my life Victoria, it was a pretty sweet bonus she was a horse gal.

A real reined cow horse trainer, straight from the wild wilderness of Northern Washington.

So there I was, suddenly in a barn full of cow horses, feeling my roots come alive.  

I didn’t know anything about horses.  

Most of the stories I knew were terrifying, horses taking off, bucking, kicking, rearing….

So I naturally leaned into my love language: Physical Touch

Sure I was a seasoned LMT, even at that point 10 years ago, but I had no idea people did Horse Massage.

My hands just loved being on the horses. 

Horse fur is soft, their skin is sensitive. They can feel a fly, or subtle shifts in the wind, and eons of evolution have made them able to sense far more than that.

All through their bodies.

I’d found myself transported, as if through a portal, with my hands on the horses. 

I wasn’t trying to do anything special, truth is I didn’t know what to do around them, but touch is my love language so I did that.

I didn’t know them yawning, sticking their tongues out, and shaking their heads was horse language for tension release.  

I didn’t know how the skin around their eyes softens and forms dozens of little wrinkles, and their eyes glow even brighter when they feel safe and connected.

All I knew is it felt really good, I felt at home, and I loved them. 

“AH, this is IT!”

It felt like an inner calling

Past and future fade

The noise and mess of the world dissolve

A peaceful joy awakened

“I really want to learn about horses now!”

It was one of those beautiful and idyllic moments, usually one that turns into a harsh lesson quickly after, ah the harmony of being human!

My quest to understand horses led me to doing many things, I developed a proprietary Equine BodyWork method, we opened a performance horse training and boarding barn, we ran dozens of community horse shows, we led years of 4-H horse clubs, started a kids summer camp riding program, then a full on Children’s riding school. 

It always struck me the amount of stress, strain, and ego around the horse world. 

The higher up you go the worse it gets. It’s why we ended up working with kids!  

This quest has been, and continues to be, an amazing ride. But all the while, I’m still trying to get back to that feeling in the hall the first time I got to put hands on horses.

Back to you, my dear listener

What’s your horsemanship love language, how do you give and receive love?  

To borrow from Gary Chapman (we are working on a horse specific version, stay tuned!)

Words of affirmation: Horses have language, is ‘talking’ to your horse it?

Acts of service: The concept of a willing partner is appealing to a lot of horse peeps. 

Receiving gifts:  Horses provide a lot of give and take, we do a lot to make sure they are safe and comfortable, and they give us partnership, rides, ‘try’, and more in return.

Quality time: Attention and presence sums this up.

Physical Touch: the warm and fuzzy touchy feelies 

Now, think about your Horses Love Language 

How do the two co-relate?  

It’s always good to think about things from your horse's perspective

Empathy for the win!

Maybe your taking something personal and don’t need to

Any chance to get out of my head is GOOD! 

Love languages are powerful because it speaks to 

INTENTION and 

It builds EMPATHY.

Two big buzzwords I know, but don’t sleep on them.

Getting clear on your intentions with horses,makes you a leader they can suddenly put their faith and trust in.

And anytime you can put empathy into play, you’ll feel better and go farther.

It helps you understand your horse’s perspective

It helps you develop self compassion

We take your passion for horses seriously (with lots of jokes and play mixed in), we don’t see it as a hobby, or a status thing.  

It’s a calling that leads to deep truth when followed. And truth is true no matter if you’re at the barn, grocery store, house, job, whatever! 

That’s why we created My Horse Journey, to drill down to the truth of things with horses.  

Remember, The Herd is Calling!